Who'Z Who?

Inhabitants of magnificient Val Ease county
Name Occupation Age Residence Claim to fame! Little known facts!
Acton Lively          
Arty Choke Green grocer 48 VEW Has widest gap in front teeth this side of the Great Divide! Always has something green in the gap in front teeth :-p
Aurthur Rightous Pain-ter and join-er various Where it hurts most Has created millionaires in the pharmaceutical industry. Reacts badly to aspirin
Avery Day          
Axel Greeze Chief Mechanic - VECRR loco shop 80 + VEE loco shop Born in the VEE loco shop Rumoured to have died in the VEE loco shop
B.N.Counter, CA Chartered Accountant - VECRR   VEE Says he has a great sense of humor. Rumor has it that he smiled when told of IRS audit.
Barb Wyre          
Barry Toan Barber & quartet leader 37 VEW    
Ben Dover         ex-con living under an assumed name
Bro Ken Link          
Buster Balls          
C. Worthey Tug Boat Skipper   On the water somewhere Survived 5 shipwrecks and sinkings Collected huge insurance payouts 5 times
Caesar Tightly          
Candy Phloss          
Captain Paddy Wagonn Chief of Police 45 VEE   One of first owners of a colour TV in Val Ease County.
Chester Drawers          
Chip Labore Track gang worker - VECRR ? Bunk car    
Chip Zahoy          
Chu N. Hurl          
Chuck M. Injale Justice Department spokesperson 53 Snob Hill, VEE   Married to Sadie Maskist
Clement C. Naught Circuit Court Judge 58 Snob Hill, VEE Has wing of the state prison named after him  
Colonel Kornne          
Constable Duncan Beigne VECRR police office 37 VEE Reigning VE County Fair donut eating champion. One of first owners of a colour TV in Val Ease County.
Daisy Chaine          
Dat Wai          
Diss Wai          
Don Bettonnit       Treasurer of the Val Ease Model Railway Club  
Donny Brooke          
Dr. Ben Itchen Emergency room doctor 32 VEE Always keeps hands behind back! Doing research into miracle hemorrhoid cure
Dusty Shelf          
Earnest Ahweebit       Junior member of the Val Ease Model Railway Club  
Elly Mentory          
Eve Hoe Personnel Agent Too old to care! VEE    
Father Benny Diction Val Ease Parish Priest 44 In the Grace of God workin' on it still diggin'
General Apathy Retired British WWI Brigade Commander 81 The "Home" Let the charge on the enemy commissary to stave off the starvation of his command He commandeered much more than the brandy!!
General Confusion Commanding Officer, Val Ease National Guard Unit        
Gowan Soomee, LLB Secretary and General Counsel - VECRR undisclosed Snob Hill, VEE   Rumoured to have ties to Dept. of Justice
Grace Hopper Entomologist 38 VEW Named her first boy child, Jiminy! Ran away from home as child to join flea circus.
Hai Wai          
Hank Kerchiff Stoker / fireman - VECRR 62 Behind Rolland A. Long    
Hardy Heering          
Harry Bits          
Helen Wheals          
Heph Shtoppe Staff photographer        
Holly Day          
Howard Kannitbee, P.E. Superintendent of engineering - VECRR Under construction VEE Once wrote assembly instructions for IKEA  
Hugh Dunnit Private Investigator        
Hyram Quigley Shop steward - VECRR 47 Snob Hill, VEE Signed up a record 54 union members at VEE shops Only 23 people work at VEE shops
I. Wannit Director of Trading Practices Top Secret Beyond the limits of Val Ease Exchanged correspondence with the GMO's office  
I.M. Dirt Second assistant mail clerk - VECRR 18 On the floor of the mail room    
Isabel Ringing Communications Agent - VECRR Won't say VEE    
Israel (Izzy) Ontyme Dispatcher - VECRR 71 VEE Never bin late fer anythin' Pacemaker has watch face
Jester Day          
Jock E. Short          
Jose Canyussie Justice of the Peace & landscaper 60 Green pickup    
Ken L. Rashon Veterinarian 49 VEW Delivered 2 headed calf Delivered it to wrong address
Kenny Doowitt          
Kent C. Lalumiere Light house operator - Old River Lighthouse - CVE   Old River Lighthouse    
Kent Careless Assistant to the General Counsel - VECRR 28      
Lo Fat Track Gang Cook Impossible to tell Cook car Can cook T-bone steaks in a wok Does not speak or understand a word of English!
Lucy Fair, D.Ed. School Principal & Busy Body Sorry we asked! VEE Coven meets every second Tuesday  
Lynne Amment          
M. Singh Link          
M.T. Bill Fold Paymaster - VECRR 50+ VEE    
M.T. Dweems Commissioner: Val Ease Power Authority (VEPA)     Can close roads on a whim Holds grudge against Hizzoner from loss in mayorlty race
M.T. Glass Town drunk ? back o' the saloon    
Mabel Siroppe       Railette chair for the Val Ease Model Railway Club  
Major Appliances XO of Val Ease National Guard Unit        
Mark Yertimesheat VECRR engine repair shop forman        
Matthew Russel Springs          
Mike Rufone, B.A. Freelance Journalist 34 VEE   Remembers who he works for: Daily Val Ease Times Chronicle Sentinel Telegraph Tribune Herald Post Sun Gazette
Miles O'Track, MBA President of the VECRR 46 VEE   Acting mayor of VEE
Milkie Wai          
Miss Penny Pinscher         Reported to be the wealthiest woman in Val Ease County.
Miss Terry Guest          
Miss Terry Novell Head Librarian, Val Ease County Library Go ahead, YOU ask her! Won't say...afraid of muggers. Established County speed reading record as junior in high school. Never been seen leaving the library building.
Missy Toh Matchmaker        
Mother Superior Sister Marie Martyr & Dominatrix Long gone! 6 feet under Upper CVE Chapel Missionary and founder of first convent school in Val Ease Adopted by local native tribe, given name: Ima Gunnawuppya
Ms. N.E. Tyme Single lady & entrepreneur Come on up and we'll talk about it, big boy! Snob Hill, VEE Has same friends as Sadie Maskist  
N. Dercover Special Agent in Charge - FBI Top Secret Top Secret Busted Harry Butt Might wanna reconsider claim to fame!
Ngo Wai          
Nobby Neese          
Oliver D. Place Chief Surveyor - VECRR        
Panelope (Pan) Kakes          
Paul Berère Undertaker 55 VEE    
Pearl E. Gates          
Pepper Korne          
Pyne E. Fresch Sanitation engineer Can't read the number - smudges "Privy" Hall First to successfully install indoor plumbing at City Hall Best buddy with Jim Manley!
Rainer Shine Postmaster 56 Over the VEE post office Holds county record for most stamps licked in 8 hour shift First recipient of tongue transplant in VEE
Red Herring Editor & Publisher : Daily Val Ease Times Chronicle Sentinel Telegraph Tribune Herald Post Sun Gazette     Can remember the full name of the paper!  
Roland A. Long Steam Locomotive Engineer - VECRR 52 Behind the boiler    
Rose Pettalle          
Rusty Spike Head Foreman, Outside Plant, Maintenance of Way Older than them thar hills bunk car #2 Best darn poker player in the Valley Largest minority shareholder of VECRR Inc.
Sadie Maskist Beautician & HS guidance counsellor 28 Snob Hill, VEE Has large male clientel?  
Sam and Janet Evening       Newest members of the Val Ease Model Railway Club  
Sharon D. Wealth Spinster philanthropist better not to ask! Val Ease Arms Her annual largess to the Val Ease cultural community is well known. Paid off mortgage on VE Library and holds deeds to a large chunk of Val Ease East!
Shirley U. Geste Town Clerk        
Shortinndi Wyring Electricial and part-time party yodeller     Chief electrician of the Val Ease Model Railway Club Champion yodeller (Rumour has it that Shordinndi took up yodelling as a natural extension of the screams he would regularly emit when handling live wires on the job).
Stan Bayou          
Steve Odour Deck hand and fork lift operator - CVE Dock Authority 38 CVE    
Summer Stoque High School Drama teacher mid-60's Cabin in woods near Centre Val Ease Lodge Ghost writer for several Broadway hits (Annie get your Goose, Meet me in St. Alban's, My Fair Laddy...) Stand in and stunt double for Douglas Fairbanks
Tip M. Bach Conductor & bar tender - VECRR Can't rightly tell VEW Once drank Miles O'Track under the table Can fumigate a warehouse with his breath
Truman Cupotea          
Tyrone Knotts Outside plant line foreman - VECRR 37 VEW Once strung 30 miles of wire in one day Strung the wire to his fishing cabin in Upper CVE
Udder Wai          
Warren Soles          
Wazzira Minittago Curator of the Val Ease Historical Society You've got some nerve! Among the archives Unearthed the "official" explanation for the East-West Conundrum Miss Minittago has a reputation for disappearing from sight in mid-sentence.
Wendy Thyme Comes          
Wich Wai          
Wilberforce B. Witchew Spiritualist / Manager - Upper CVE Lodge & Resort Better not to ask      
Willy Fixit Handyman        
Willy Lastferlong       President of the Val Ease Model Railway Club  
Wong Wai          
Yuri N. Trubble Constable - VECRR police None of yer business Over the jail Once captured a gang of rustlers single handed Gang of rustlers had bill of sale for cattle